The Grades

Here is a little explanation of my beer grading system.

Teacher Grade F: Sadly in some school districts, like the one I teach in, this grade actually doesn’t exist anymore.  If a child is failing my class, I actually have to assign them an E instead.  Evidentially, years of giving students F’s has placed a negative connotation on it.  I thought failing in general was negative.  Anyway, as many of my readers will be able to tell you, I really don’t give a whole lot of beers failing grades.  I believe I have done it here before, but I would really have to go back and check.  Let’s face it, I buy beer I think will be good because I want to drink good beer.  Chances are I’m not buying a beer I will consider crap.  Therefore, if I give a beer a failing grade, I really have to feel it’s bad.  The key point here is, if I do give a beer a failing grader, I will never seek to buy or drink it again.  F = Never again! I’ll drink water!

Teacher Grade D: I have assigned a few D’s in my year of grading thus far.  I sometimes buy a beer I really hope will be something special, and it goes the complete opposite way.  However, to keep it from receiving a complete failure, I have to find some redeeming quality to it.  It could be the use of hops, malts, or some other singular flavor I actually enjoy, but it has to have something going on it that I think makes it acceptable to have been brewed.  D = If it’s the only beer available!

Teacher Grade C: I think of C as a completely average beer.  It definitely isn’t a bad beer, and it definitely isn’t a great beer.  Even as a teacher, I never really feel all that bad about giving students a C.  It shows that they aren’t anything special, and they aren’t a terrible student either.  They are perfectly average.  This of course isn’t acceptable to the parents of the Talented and Gifted students I teach this year, but some people are just middle of the road.  Likewise, a lot of beers just don’t stack up against the superior competition.  C = I’ll drink it again, but I might grab a PBR first!

Teacher Grade B: This has to be a beer that is heading towards greatness, but it has something going on in there that is keeping it from reaching ultimate superiority.  Lately I believe I may have been a little too relaxed with my grading method.  I’m sure I’ve given a few A’s to beers that actually should have been something more like a B.  Therefore, I have a feeling a lot more beers will start showing up as B’s instead of A’s in the future.   I think a beer will get a B if it is missing some small aspect that I want or contains a component I don’t like.  It could be a little too much hops, a little bit too syrupy, or lacking in carbonation, either way, I  believe that beer will now receive a B. B = I will definitely drink this beer again, but let me take one more look at what you have!

Teacher Grade A: I have definitely been a slightly bad teacher when it comes to beers lately.  I feel like I’m the teacher you want to take in college because you know you’ll get an A.  Well times they are a changing!  I want to try to reserve my A grade for beers I feel truly deserve it.  I don’t want people to think I adore every single beer I drink; therefore, I’m hopeful I’ll be slightly more stingy with my A’s.  This beer has to have everything going on for it.  I need to not find a single thing wrong with the beer.  They truly need to earn the A from now on.  A = Don’t even tell me what else you have, I’ll take one of those!

I believe I’ll be relying on my pluses and minuses a lot more from now on to give a little more delineation between the really good and really bad, but I’m going to try to be a lot better with my grading system from now on.  Time will only tell if I stick to the parameters I have set out here.  Hopefully, I’ll have a few people a little bit happier with my grading system from now on.  Stay tuned to see if it works!


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